- Getting time apart from each other allows us to explore our individual interests.
- We are also better parents because we return to our home recharged and ready to take care of the kids.
- Traveling alone does not mean we don’t love each other, it’s quite the opposite.
On my last vacation, a week-long getaway to Carolina Beach, North Carolina, I traveled light, leaving anything nonessential at home. For the purposes of this trip, that included my husband.
Don’t get me wrong, I adore my spouse, but at least once a year we each pack our bags on a much-needed solo sojourn. I don’t ski and he’s an avid skier. He hates all-inclusive and I’m all about doing nothing on a beach, covered in a towel, paperback in hand.
Instead of putting too much thought into how we should make these trips work together we just accept that we need our time apart. This has become even more relevant with a toddler and a one-year-old to take care of.
Family vacations are exhausting
Our family vacations, full of laughter and love, are often anything but relaxing. Both kids are inevitably in our bed by early morning, begging us to get up and play, which is impossible to ignore, as anyone with little kids knows.
Having a designated chunk of time each year to sleep in and unwind keeps us both more present in our lives and in the lives of our kids. I’m much more patient as I repeatedly pick up hundreds of Hot Wheels or soothe another you-can’t-eat-chocolate-for-dinner provoked temper tantrum knowing I will eventually get to have some real-time to myself.
Regardless of how chaotic life gets we never allow one another to postpone our essential time away, excited to share the particulars as we plan our separate journeys. And it’s more than a little sexy to see my husband model new gear for his upcoming winter adventure while I get my SPF 50 and beach-reads lined up.
When we’re away, we look forward to our daily Facetime calls, eager to see how happy and stress-free the other is.
We like to enjoy life separately
“Doesn’t it worry you that he has so much fun without you?” A colleague asked when I mentioned our arrangement. I responded a bit in shock, to be honest. “Why? Are you not allowed to have fun unless you’re with your partner?”
During the height of the pandemic, we paused all travel plans, reassuring one another we’d eventually return to our routine resets. We kept the hope alive by constantly communicating to one another details about where we wanted to go next.
Hearing my husband talk about snowboarding in Aspen almost made me wish I would be coming along. And maybe one time I will. As the kids get older, one of them is bound to inherit his love of outdoor sports and it would be fun to see my husband and children in action on the slopes.