Ask Beatty: Effective Marriage Counseling – Part 2 – Dan’s Papers

Over the past 35 years, I have treated nearly 1,000 couples (married and non-married) of every age group, socioeconomic background, religion and sexual orientation who have entrusted me to help them try to resolve their various problems. In my last article, “Ask Beatty: A Unique Approach to Effective Marriage Counseling,” I described in detail my three-step methodology. To recap, I do an in-depth couples evaluation, frequently lasting several hours, followed by detailed individual evaluations. Only then am I in a position to determine whether the couple is ready to focus on couple’s issues or whether one or both individuals need to first deal with his or her unfinished business or skeletons in the closet.

A Unique Approach to Effective Marriage Counseling: PART I

When the couple is ready to meet together, we will be able to focus on the “we” issues that need to be acknowledged, addressed and resolved — knowing of course, that we can’t change history. First, I ask each person to create an agenda and prioritize the issues that need to be addressed. The couple then begins to tackle the issues one by one as they begin to learn the crucial art of emotional communication and problem-solving.

Couples are taught how to discuss problems and make compromises and trade-offs. They learn that the win/lose model is a disaster for relationships and begin to see the importance of reaching win/win resolutions. I teach them how to say it, if to say it, where to say it, when to say it and how to communicate the most difficult and painful issues in a respectful way. Roleplay is used extensively. This helps the couple practice an art form that few of us have ever learned. I’m very directive and active throughout the entire process and will not tolerate any abusive or disrespectful behavior of any kind. As many of my patients are in the entertainment field, they understand the necessity and importance of doing as many takes as possible, until they get it right!

There have been a small percentage of couples who I have treated who decided to divorce. In making this decision they are now at least aware of what went wrong. Each person is clear about what he/she did or didn’t do that contributed to the problems and subsequent end of their marriage. Most are then able to divorce without the rage and wrath that so frequently comes with the demise of a relationship. Despite the disappointment and pain of ending a marriage, the majority are at peace in knowing that they at least tried to solve their difficulties honestly and with integrity.

Divorcing well is so important, especially when there are children involved. Our children have more than enough adjustments to make when the original family structure changes, including the challenges of coping with the new reality of different and separate houses, frequently different schools, lifestyles and visitation schedules. We should do everything possible to never put them in a position where they also have to deal with two parents who are at war with one another.</…….


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Julia Roberts’ shock marriage details to Danny Moder revealed – HELLO!

December 21, 2021 – 16:50 GMT

Hannah Hargrave

Julia Roberts and Danny Moder’s marriage details might surprise fans as the couple keep their personal life out of the spotlight

Julia Roberts and Danny Moder have one of the longest and most successful marriages in Hollywood history and it may have something to do with them keeping their personal life out of the spotlight. 

The same went for when they tied the knot almost two decades ago. Despite Julia being a huge A-lister, worth millions of dollars, their nuptials were remarkably low-key. 



PM Modi takes swipe at rivals for criticising move to raise marriage age for girls – The Indian Express

Highlighting his government’s recent decision to raise the legal age of marriage for girls from 18 to 21 years, Prime Minister Narendra Modi today took on his political rivals for criticising this move.

“Earlier, the legal age of marriage for sons was 21 years, but for daughters it was only 18 years. The daughters also wanted that they should get time to pursue their studies and to get equal opportunities. Therefore, efforts are being made to bring the age of marriage to 21 years for daughters. The country is taking this decision for the sake of daughters,” Modi said.

“But everyone is seeing who is having problems with this,” the PM said, taking a swip…….